orchid

if you have the faith
of a mustard seed
you can move mountains
says god
but i say 
what were those mountains
doing there in the first place

and
with faith as small as a seed
nothing will be impossible
says god
but i say
nice try
i’m pretty sure my faith
was larger than that
when i asked you to
keep my grandmother alive 

and i’m no expert
but i’ve sown seeds my whole life
at the base of mountains
and beds of death
yet
nothing happens at my
whim or bequest
and i have to wonder
is it me
or did the gardener give me
the wrong bag 

my faith
more orchid than mustard
grows tiny and fragile
has never moved earth
or felled the impossible 

you would never even know it was there
if it weren’t for a god
who keeps following me
with shovel and trowel
hands full of the flowers
she found springing up
at the sides
of graves
and mountains
saying 

i’m sorry 

i’m sorry 

i’m sorry